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What a amazing place! I came back to Hanoi this morning at 3am after two days in Sa Pa. This amazing place of nature and native people.
The bus left Hanoi at 10pm on monday, a sleeping bus, It's like a bus with beds in it so that you can lay down and sleep during the 6h drive up to Sa Pa. On the way up I didn't sleep to much so was really tired when we arrived and there was no time for rest.
When we arrived in Sa Pa town we where picked up by mini bus and in traditional Vietnamese style they pushed in as many people as possible resulting in us sitting in each others laps and standing. But luckily it wasn't that far to the hotel so it went fast. Well at the hotel we "checked-in" or we got the coupons for the food so we could go and eat breakfast and then after breakfast we could get our room keys... The breakfast at this hotel was the strangest one so far, there was pasta carbonara, potato and carrot gratin and rice and so on... but there was also bread so that's what I ate.
 The view from the breakfast resturant

After breakfast did we just have time to go and leave the backpack at the room before it was time for the first trek. Sa Pa has beautiful scenery but the local people is a bit to much literately following you to buy something from them and it becomes a bit much. But trekking through this landscapes are like therapy so quiet and the fresh air compared to Hanoi.
The first morning we did a 3h trek and was back at the hotel for lunch.
In the afternoon me and some of the others on the tour rented some motorbikes and drove up to the silver waterfall, you couldn't really see the whole waterfall because of the fog but it was still so beautiful. Talking about the fog, if the fog was stopping us from seeing the whole waterfall was it nothing compared to when we where going back down to the hotel. The road to the waterfall was up the mountain and it was not a straight road... a lot of sharp turns and steep slopes. When we where going back was the fog so intense that we could barely see 5 meters in front of us and on top of that it started raining. So it was a real adventure getting back to the hotel and it took a lot longer then when we went up even though it was downhill the whole way. But it was still so worth it.
 
 Silver waterfall
After the adventure on the mountain we went down to the market in Sa Pa town on the motorbikes so we didn't have to walk up the hill to the hotel again. The market was about to close so they had started packing some things down so didn't see to much and the thing is that sometimes in these markets it feels like if you have seen on table you have seen them all, it's a lot of the same thing they are selling. 
By the time we got back to the hotel we where freezing so much and everything was wet from the raing so a warm shower was really welcoming before dinner and after dinner it was just straight to bed, I don't even think my head had landed on the pillow before I was sleeping. 
The second day we did a 6h trek with a break for lunch in one of the villages. This one was a bit harder then the first day, the easy part was that it was only downhill the hard part was how steep some parts of the path was, at some paces we all had one local person holding our hand to help us get down. And then we had the parts where we had to balance on a 15cm mud wall not to fall down a smal hill or on the otherside fall into the water. We all made it, no one fell, some slipping but no falls. And I'm really glad that we didn't have to walk all the way up again and that a bus came and picked us up and drove us back to the hotel. Then it was just time to wait I was to tired to go down to the market so just went to lay on the sofas until dinner and then the same until the bus was leaving. And then it was the sleeping bus back to Hanoi.
 
Back at Hanoi I went straight back to the hotel and slept for a few hours before going to eat breakfast and waiting for my family. I got the best suprise ever when they arrived to the hotel and my littlebrother was with them. They have said all a long he wasn't coming and now he is here! I have been so mad at him for not skyping with me but I almost forgive him when he said it was only cause he would have spoiled the suprise if he said something. So they are sleeping of some of the jetlag and I will wake them upp in like a hour until then I will look through the photos and publish some on facebook. 
 
 
 
 
 

Sleeping bus, trekkin...

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This weekend has been really good, I have really tried to relax and have fun.
After not really wanting to leave the hotel room on Saturday did I force my self out and went to the aquarium in the underground mega mall in time city. It was so nice, I could have spent hours there if it wasn't for the music now I only stayed 1½h.. all the fishes and turtles and sharks and jellyfish swimming around so peaceful in the water. It therapeutic. Then it was a quiet night in on Saturday night just watching series and skyping with friends.
Sunday was moving day, so it was all about packing and moving to the new and final hotel for this trip in the morning. In the afternoon came Pham and picked me up and we went to the silk village (sadly to say not to impressed by it) and after that we went to order a áo dais for me. It is a traditional Vietnamese dress, It's like a dress with very high slits on both sides that you wear pants under it's really beautiful so I'm having one made for me. Then It was back to the hotel to skype with Ida.
Today night i'm going to Sa Pa and will be back on Thursday morning a few hours before my parents and grandparents get here =)

Good weekend and it w...

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They have made me so frustrated, sad and angry sometimes during these weeks but when they through you a farewell party in the VIP room of a restaurant with lots of amazing food (so much I couldn't eat, they where forcing me) and a lot of vodka as usually you can't not like them they are so sweet. I still can't really take pure vodka shots really don't like it but this one was at least better then the wedding.
The thing is do even at this party they didn't speak so much English, and you know how when you get drunk and you start speaking even though you think you are bad at it, that doesn't happen with these people they just get louder in Vietnamese instead... But It was fun any way and they are so sweet and didn't let me pay for anything.
After dinner we went to a karaoke bar, which kind of was the worst idea ever, or not really I laugh a lot but listening to drunk Vietnamese people singing Vietnamese songs.... Not really my idea of fun. Maybe it was just cause I didn't like or understand the songs but I realized I have a hard time with the Vietnamese music not my taste and they forced me to sing a song in English that I have never heard before, it was a good thing I could read the lyrics. 

After the party I went back to my hotel, just to leave my backpack and then go out to meet Elena, but the taxidriver didnät know the adress so instead of being dropped of somewhere in nowhere I decided to go back to the oldquarter and just walk a bit before going back to the hotel and sleep. I was really tierd didn't sleep to much the night before. 
 
 

You kind of have to l...

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Today is the last day, I still have one interview that I have to do today but otherwise have I nothing at all to do today, It feels really bad to say in one way, cause they have been really nice to me, but It's gonna be so nice to have two weeks vacation and not needing to go to this hospital every morning. .
After this Interview that I will do at 3PM am I going just sit and write some on my thesis before going to give back the clothes, the card and the key to my locker. After that am I free!
Then I'm going to relax and enjoy the farewell party we are having tonight. Still don't know where it's going to be but it's straight after we finish at the hospital so just gonna follow the others. Then I'm gonna go home and sleep cause i didn't get much sleep this night .

Last day at the hospi...

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There is a reason why we call her the physiotherapyststudents mom. How many teachers can you call on skype or adobe connect and completely breakdown in front of and they tell you "but do you have to go there tomorrow?" can't you do like the Vietnamese and just say the day before that you cant come tomorrow?
This about going to the hospital... The place where I'm not only collecting data for my bachelor thesis but also the place where I'm doing my clinical education course which she is the exterminator for..... She is really every students extra mom she just want everyone to feel good and do their best, she told me to not go to the hospital for a day and do something that made me feel better instead. 
So I listen to her. I told the hospital yesterday that I couldn't come in today cause I needed to study and go to the embassy. The first one I kind of need to do but wont do today, the second one was a complete lie I don't need to go to the embassy at all but felt to say that cause they cant really argue with it since the embassey only is open during the hours I'm usually at the hopsital. 
So today have I beento the Spa for 4 hours! I have gotten steam bath, massage, body scrub, facial, manicure and so on just spoiled myself a bit. I almost feel like a new person. I have eaten good food, shopped some new clothes and booked my trip to Sapa on Monday.
Sometimes it's really good to listen to other people they might know what's best for you. Now when I'm back at my hotelroom I really feel like this is what I needed today, It's hasn't completely relaxed my head but at least it's going the wright way. Tomorrow is the last day at the hospital and after work are they holding a goodbye paty for me somewhere I don't know where. And then I'm free, two weeks of vaccation. Starting with a trip to Sapa on monday, too see native people,waterfalls, ricefields and a lot of nature. Then on Thursday are my parents and grandparents coming I can't wait please time go a bit faster. 

Listen to your teache...

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I know that this blog have had a lot of negative posts about all the things that has been bad or gone wrong and I'm sorry about that but this trip has been hard and it has been a lot of negative feelings along the way. Now when I'm starting to see the end of this trip, in 2½ weeks will I be back in Sweden, am I starting to reflect over things.

Before this trip a lot of people told me that I was so strong and brave for going on this trip alone. And I didn't really understand them, I just said "thank you" but thought for myself "I'm only going away for 10 weeks it's nothing" I have lived abroad alone for a year before. But now almost 8 weeks in to this trip do I understand them a lot better and yes I'm strong as hell for doing this alone. This has been the toughest trip but also the most instructive trip that I have made. There has been times during this stay when I have been on the edge of giving up but I decide to stick with it, I decided to stay strong.

The first three weeks here was terrible, I was homesick, felt alone, nothing was going as planed and I just felt like what am I doing here. I think I spent more time in my hotel room then anywhere else during this time, I even seriously looked at flights back to Sweden.
But I got through them and after these three weeks it turned to the better, if you look at everything that has absolutely nothing to do with school ( cause that still feels completly hopeless). And the last five weeks have had some really fun times in them.
The thing is though that this thesis where absolutely nothing has gone as I planed it really has taken it's toll on me mentally. The stress from it has put a negative attitude on so much.
It has made me forget to appreciate this amazing opportunity that I have been given to live in this country and culture for 10 weeks. To appreciate the new friends I have made, the beautiful places I have seen, this new city and just this chance to do this. So from now on am I going to appreciate the time that is left and I think that I'm going to appreciate this whole adventure a lot more when I have gotten some distance to it.

I have also learned that it's okey to breakdown and tell and show people that aren't your family or closest friends that you are not fine. Cause It is hard to do this alone but you feel much better if you don't bottle everything up inside. But it's hard cause you don't want to seem "weak" even though if you think about it they really don't think that about you.

Even though there is still this allconsuming feeling of hopelessness when it comes to this thesis do I know that one way or anothe will I have something to present in January so that I can graduate with the rest of my classmate. And this is all thanks to all of you that has been there for me during this weeks and helped me through it. Even if it might not always have seemed like I listen to your word when you tried to cheer me up can I say that they helped. You have said all the wright things and I really appreciate it. So THANK YOU! 
 
On Sunday am I gonna let go of everything that has anything to do with school and just enjoy the last two weeks in this country. Two weeks of well earned vaccation. I will travel and see new places, my parents and grandparents will join me for the last 10 day and we will have a amazing time. 
So there is 3 more days to stay strong and survive at the hospital and that is nothing at this point =) 

Staying strong

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This bachelor thesis has really not been going my way, from the start there has been a lot of obstacles and tests. But today is a new day and even if I probably won't get the same result and quality of the interviews as I had hoped I just have to smile and make it happen. Cause no matter what will I always solve it in one way or a other.
So today I'm gonna try to stay positive and have a smile on my lips cause everything gets easier if you smile. On thing is for shore I will have some data with me when I leave this trip and I will definitive have something to discuss in the method discussion of the thesis.

New day!

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I think I was to fast saying that I might get a thesis out of this trip...
I was so happy everything was going right I had actually started study really good and got something done on this thesis and then comes the kick in the stomach again. I don't know how many times I have changed the aim of this study or the whole direction of it because of set backs or things not being possible to do the way I had in mind to to them.
At this point I really don't know how I will managed to collect the data, it won't be possible as i planed it, even if the hospital seems to think that, It feels like I have to change the whole concept of the thesis completely change method to collect data, and this is the last week.... Last week they told me i would have interpreter for the interviews they would book it for me, today (after lunch) the day before the interviews they tell me no they can't give me an interpreter for the interviews.... Now what? how am i suppose to do this? I don't feel like the staff in the department English level is good enough to answer the questions I have in a "good way" i'm afraid that they won't tell me everything cause they can't explain it in English and then the data I get will be misleading. And they are telling me to use some of the staff to translate the other staff members and if I do that then it can really become ethnic dilemmas... you can't really ask a coworker from the same department to translate who know what they will start discussing...
I really are just so fed up with these obstacles right now and i don't know how to get passed this one... I knew when I went here that the thesis would probably not end the same way it was planed from the begining but this is just a bit to much now and so close to the end it just gives me panic! I really want to graduate with my classmates in January! 

PANIC!

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Okey so I know I have been really bad at writing on my blog the past weeks but I have thought oh I will do it later I have time. But now i realized that I haven't written any thing in like three weeks...
The time really flies by so fast now, the first three weeks down here felt like forever but this past month have just gone by so fast I don't know where the time went?

Since my last post I have done a lot, I went to a Vietnamese wedding party where everything starts with vodka shots before you can start eating (no need to say they know how to get really drunk in less then 2h). A tip for those who don't want to get super drunk, don't take the whole shot at once cause if you have a empty glass they will fill it up again with vodka or wine or anything they have with alcohol in it but if you still have little bit left they don't refill it. I learned this very fast. But it was a very fun night even though we spent more time in a minibus then at the party.

One of the reason the last month has gone so much faster is probably because I have have more people to hang out with which is so much more fun! It has meant more time spent on the back of motorbikes. One reason to go around Hanoi on motorbike was to find a dress to the wedding party, the same day as the wedding had I still not found anything to wear... Luckily for me do I have a saver that came and picked me up at my hotel in the morning and took me to all the right stores so by noon did I have everything I needed. In the end it turned out I didn't need to wear a dress even though everyone told me that, could just have worn a pair of shorts much more comforatble.
If I would stay here longer the 10 weeks I would definitely get my self a motorbike, they are the best way to get around Hanoi in and fun to. Been around Hanoi for shopping, sightseeing, coffee or beer or just to chill.

A week or so ago I went to the national hospital of pediatrics (before known as Vietnam- Sweden Children's hospital after that Sweden helped rebuilt it after it was damaged in the war). This hospital was a positive new experience here in Vietnam. The way they work was much easier to relate to then it is at Vinmec some times. Their rehabilitation department staff was very nice and spoke quite good English and was very nice I spend three days there and I saw so many different patient and different disabilities. Just next to the hospital are they building I don't know if it will only be a new part of the hospital or a completely new one but the pictures of how it's suppose to when it's finished are very nice.
What else have I done during this weeks?... I have actually managed to study a bit to so now doesn't the stress of not getting anywhere feel so bad any more. And I will do the first interview with some of the staff here at Vinmec tomorrow, I might actually get a thesis out of this trip after all.
 
Oh yes I have managed to get sick to, nothing mayor just some headache and fever but it forced me to stay at the hotel for a whole weekend so boring! The intresting thing about that was that people thought I should go to the hospital all the time, even the first day when I only had really bad headache did they think I should stay at the hospital to monitor my headace, I mean it's really sweet that they are concerned but really it was just headache and fever and it was not that like 40degree fever either. But maybe they go to the hospital for everything here I dont really know. 
 
But really the time is flying by down here right now, this is my last week at the hospital, then it's two weeks vaccation starting with a trip to Sapa before my parents and grandparents are coming down next Thursday for ten days family vaccation, only one missing is my littlebrother but I will see him for a short time when I get back to Sweden before I fly back up to Luleå the 9th. 

Time flies

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Over not being able to find something to wear at the wedding tomorrow. Why do you have to wear a colorful dress? Can't I just wear a nice pair of pants and a nice top? Colorful dresses are so not me and Vietnam does not make dresses to fit me. Found one that was like forest green very simple with lace on it but it was like a top way to short. So I'm going out to the night market tonight for one last attempt to find a dress, If I don't find one tonight I don't know what I'm gonna wear tomorrow. But there has to be at least one simple colorful dress for me tonight.

Frustration

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This last week I have been going around wondering a lot about the physiotherapy education in Vietnam, I know that there is not many schools for it but I'm wondering more about what they actually learn at this education. Yes shore it's good to have days when you go through things you learned about a long time ago, but if you have learned it then you shouldn't have to spend 3 days going trough a book looking at pictures to remember it. You can't remember everything but if you are a group of 6 people I'm shore that you together could remember it.
 
 
Especially when it comes to a thing like measuring the movement in the joints. I have the two last days spent 30-60min after lunch looking at how they try to do it, and I have come with suggestions of how they can do it but they most times just stair blindly to the book (that looks like it's at least 25 years old) and try to mimic the pictures. If it's because they don't understand me or because they trust the book more I don't know. But a thing like measuring the movement in the joints is one of the first thing you learn went you start with the practical parts and of course I have to stop up and think when it comes to some movements and some joints but in the end I can figure it out.

And If they have to stand and look through this book so thoroughly before measuring I start wondering if they teach this at the education. Also making it sound like they have to start taking measures now, for me that is something I take for granted if the range of motion in the joint is smaller then it's suppose to be.
 
And then the constant questions about the electro stimulations they use if I have seen them before, or used them. The questions about the excersises and how to do them. When I see them give out the few excersises I have seen them give out they are usually very hard and advanced. Making me wonder why they start with so hard exercises and they looks really strange at me when I say really simple excersises and so few to start with. 
 

Wondering

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Okey now, or after this, I will try to really study! I need to do something on this thesis if it ever is going to be finished. The goal is to finish the new PM and to start searching for articles for the other course I'm taking.
Someone please give me some motivation! I just find excuses and other things that is more fun to do the this.

Study time...

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Oh it's been almost a week since I wrote something and you might think that's because I have been so busy, but no not really. Or a little bit busy have I been. But mainly cause I have felt like I have nothing possitive to write and don't just want to write negative things they are no fun to read, but figured some things out and I'm feeling like everything is going towards the better and I just have to keep a positive attitude to everything and it will be fine! 
 
Last Monday was the PM seminar that went okey, but the staff on the hospital ha forgotten that I was suppose to be gone in the afternoon so there was some discussions about it ( I thought they where gonna be mad at me on Tuesday but they wasn't), I had told them the first week here that I had an exam that day. Have some things I have to work on in the paper but I'm just so stuck at doing like nothing during the days right now. I'm just so unmotivated that it feels like I'm getting no where. But I will just have to digg my head in to the articles and the paper and start some where otherwise I will Never finnish. 
 
Much more fun to go out on ladies nights with new found friends and have a drink or go to the night market and get a henna tattoo. Or just go around for walks. I haven't been anywhere in particular this last week and a lot of time has been spent on the hotel room watching series or talking to friends on skype. But I found this really cool shop in one of the streets in old quarter that sold t-shirts and tops but the walls was covered in brow papers with different langues, every one that has been there to shop had written a not with "Hi", "How are you", "Thanks" and "Cheers" in their langues really nice!

I changed hotel yesterday after staying in the old one for a month this new one is so nice! Still don't have any real window but the room is bigger, the bed is bigger, the bathroom is nicer and not to talk about the breakfast. I'm looking forward to Saturday when I can actually enjoy the breakfast a bit and don't have to stress away to the hospital in the morning.
On the other hand I'm going to a wedding on Saturday but it's not until 15pm so I have time. Going shopping for a dress on wednsday, cause apparently I need to wear a "polished" white or colorful dress on saturday.... That sounds like me right? And I would really lie to buy a nice pair of heals to wear and then I remember that I'm allready a bit taller then most people here so if I wear heals I'm really going to be a Giant, but I like heals they look nice with dresses. 
 
What else have I been up to this week? I applied for my first ever physiotherapist job. I mean It's time to start searching for jobs now so that I might get some after graduation in January. This job I applied for I really like to get, but I mean how big is the chance that you get the first job you apply for? Any way It's in Denmark and Kopenhagen, working with children. Last day to apply is today so we will see if I hear back from them or not later. Felt a bit grown up and weird actually applying for a job that I have been studying for the last 2½ years. It's kind of scary that that's the reality soon, real job as a Physiotherapist. 

Long time ago

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Good morning, or maybe not so good. My body and head doesn't really like me today, Well it didn't like me yesterday evening either. My little adventure yesterday to go to the West lake ended up in a 6h walk since I ended up walking there and back and then getting a bit lost on my way back to the hotel. So today my head is telling me that i should have been drinking more, my face that I should worn sunscreen and my leg that I should not walk for this long distance. But It was really worth it. So nice to go to a quiet place where you can't hear all the traffic from a busy Hanoi. When my parents and grandparents are coming down we are definitive going there and taking the boat out on the lake.
I would just like to spend the whole day in bed today and do nothing to just recover but i have to study so think I will go to some café and do that later =)

On the way to West lake
 
A part of the Historical legacy of Vietnam
 
I don't think there is anything that the Vietnamese can't transport on a motorbike
 
West lake
 
West lake
 
West lake
 
West lake
 
West lake
 
West lake
 
On my way home to the hotel
 
 
 
 

Don't like me.

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A Vietnamese wedding? Today I was invited to one of the staff members wedding that is in a few weeks. I even got the honer to make her hair, she liked my braids from yesterday. So now I just have to figure out what to wear. So it's shopping time! =)

What do you wear to.....

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To start the day by coming to the hospital and the first thing someone say to you is "you look beautiful today", this when you come completely without make-up, tired as hell cause you were up until writing on your PM for the bachelor thesis and you have the hideous hospital clothes on that are way to big. The only thing I had done this morning was to make two braids in my hair like I do sometimes. It was a really good start of the day and I mean there is not many things that will boost your self-esteem like this, someone telling you that you look beautiful and being sincere when you are feeling everything but beautiful.
I think that my braids was one of the top topics during the rest of the day, at least among the female staff at the hospital, the big question was "had I done them my self?" Really fun some of them actually walked around me just to inspect them and try to see how I had done them.

A other fun conversation from today was the topic of today's "English class" (The days when there aren't so many patient's some of us sit down and talk so they can practice English). Today's topic was weddings and the cultural differences in how long to be together before getting married. In Vietnam they are very quick I got to hear stories with everything from 1 week then wedding to 6 months. I mean really you have been together for one week and then you get married? I think 6 months are way to short also but at least you have some time to get to start knowing the person you are gonna marry if you have 6 months until the wedding. But the conversation was fun with a lots of laughter, many because of the plan they made up for med. At least they made me a 4 year plan and not a 2 months plan. So compare to last week when everything was terrible this week is just getting better.

After this good day at the hospital I decided that I was gonna go to the Mega mall for some shopping to reward myself for the good job I made withe the new PM and gave in in on time yesterday. But I didn't find anything! nothing fun, my wonderful flatmate would have loved the stores with all the cute dresses but for me nothing. I was considering buying some training clothes but there was only Adidas and that we have in Sweden so that's no fun. So I decided to go and eat dinner instead and since I'm so tired of the rice (served to everything you eat here, there is even rice at breakfast at my hotel) I decided to go and eat at Pizza Hut. So to celebrate in my loneliness did I order a three course meal and though yes now I'm really spoiling myself, even ordered smoothie instead of any soda. And what did I pay? Around 70 - 80Kr. How could I spend so much money on food? So worth it just to get away from the rice so what that it was a carboverload sometimes are you worth it, plus that I trained when i got back to the hotel.

Total self-esteem boo...